Q. Is it legal to make Homeopathic Vodka?

A. Yes - you are legally permitted to make Homeopathic Vodka (12C or greater) in your own home.

Q. Can I purchase Homeopathic Vodka already made?

A. No. Just as you can not purchase Wine from non-licensed/approved stores but you can purchase grapes, you can only purchase the base product (water) and not the finished product (Homeopathic Vodka). You must do some of the work yourself for it to be legal6.

Q. What makes Homeopathic Vodka so great?

A. Many people argue that it is the taste but arguments can be made for the clarity and purity. Few would argue that it isn't truly refreshing though.

Q. Have you tried Homeopathic Whiskey or any other Homeopathic Liquors?

A. No. We have a thorough understanding of the Homeopathic Laws4 and processes. Any True Homeopath (TM) knows that Vodka is the only type of alcohol that can properly be Homeopatheticized.

Q. What about areas where their water is derived from Desalination plants?

A. Desalination is a method of getting fresh water from sources that are typically salty (ocean, etc.) and the process itself can have devastating effects on the memory of water. As water has a memory (see Diagram), the desalination process is too harsh on the water that it can confuse the memory. We debated putting a drop of Vodka in the Ocean but since all of the oceans are connected, we were concerned that we would not be able to control the test in a smaller subset of the population. Desalination would likely potentize the Homeopathic Vodka to 200C or more and the resulting product could be too potent.

Q. Is it safe for children?

A. Homeopathic Vodka is a CHEMICAL. All chemicals need to be controlled around children. If you are going to supervise your children, however, the product is perfectly safe in controlled amounts. (Do not permit your child to drink more Homeopathic Vodka than you would let them drink if it were simply water - that's a pretty safe rule to follow.)

Q. My dog drank Homeopathic Vodka, what should I do?

A. Since Homeopathic Vodka is in limited supply, we recommend that you do not permit animals to consume it. Since they are not going to notice the difference in taste from water, we would recommend that they be simply allowed to drink water instead. Drinking Homeopathic Vodka is what separates God's chosen few from the animals that roam the earth. Homeopathic Vodka should not harm your dog. One of our Doctors3 attempted making a large batch of Homeopathic Vodka in a child's pool and his dog jumped into the pool but suffered no ill effects7.

Q. I spilled Homeopathic Vodka on the floor, what should I do?

A. DO NOT APPLY WATER. Adding water to the Homeopathic Vodka will cause a reaction that will result in further potentized Homeopathic Vodka. Soak up the Homeopathic Vodka with 100% cotton towels and dispose of them.

Q. I have been using Homeopathic Vodka to clean the windows of my car, is that environmentally friendly?

A. Homeopathic Vodka has been found in streams and watersheds surrounding commercial car washes for as long as we have records. We have heard of no ill effects as a result. However, remember that Homeopathic Vodka is limited in supply - much of the world would love to even have enough just to rehydrate themselves. Don't waste Homeopathic Vodka.

Q. Can I send my son to elementary school with Homeopathic Vodka?

A. As a parent, it is your responsibility to give your children the greatest opportunity to succeed; it is our opinion that to keep your child from consuming Homeopathic Vodka would be inhumane.

Q. Do I need to put the back Seal on the bottle?

A. If you do not plan on taking the product across state lines, you might be fine not applying the back Seal. The back seal does not contain any Simulacrum Hyper Ionized Thetons and is not necessary for achieving 30C Homeopathic Vodka. It is only necessary to meet government regulations requiring that Alcohol content, by volume, be stated on the label of the product.

Q. Is this site serious?

A. Was the earth created 6000 years ago?